I grew up in an evangelical, charismatic church in the ‘90s and 2000s in Tulsa, Oklahoma – the buckle of the bible belt. Dave Ramsey, DC Talk, and Left Behind were household names. The impact that Left Behind in particular had on our culture was unprecedented. To this day you can’t visit a flea market in Oklahoma without finding at least 20 copies of Left Behind littered throughout the store.
I’ve been reading my way through the series the past few months (yikes is it poorly written). But whether you loved the series or hated it, and whether or not you agree with the theology on which it is based, the first book poses an interesting question. What would the world look like if tens of millions of Christians suddenly disappeared?
With significantly reduced population density in certain regions, the post-rapture days would be the ideal time to explore some of America’s most scenic states without the usual tourist crowds. You only have 18 months until the Tribulation begins, so don’t waste time – and maybe read your bible a little more along the way.
From pristine national parks to legendary theme parks, here’s our guide to the top destinations where you’ll find surprisingly available accommodations and refreshingly empty highways now that the nation’s evangelicals are no longer hanging around.
Tennessee
The Great Smoky Mountains have never been more serene. Gatlinburg’s mountain coasters and scenic chairlifts now operate without lines, while Dollywood’s roller coasters offer immediate boarding. Downtown Nashville’s honky-tonks maintain their charm with a more intimate atmosphere, and finding parking on Lower Broadway is remarkably straightforward.
The Gaylord Opryland Resort, typically booked months in advance, now offers same-day reservations for its signature atrium views. Memphis’s Beale Street features the same world-class blues, just with much shorter waits for tables at Central BBQ.
Texas
The Lone Star State’s vast attractions are even more accessible now. Six Flags Over Texas has eliminated its virtual queue system entirely – every ride is now walk-on. The RiverWalk in San Antonio offers peaceful gondola rides without scheduling conflicts, and the Alamo has never been easier to photograph without crowds.
Premium downtown Austin hotels offer unprecedented availability, while Big Bend National Park’s most coveted camping spots can be claimed without the usual six-month advance reservation.
Georgia
Atlanta’s World of Coca-Cola and Georgia Aquarium now offer personalized tours by default. The waiting time for a table at Mrs. Wilkes Dining Room in Savannah has dropped from hours to minutes. Jekyll Island’s beaches provide an even more secluded escape, with beachfront properties readily available.
Stone Mountain Park’s laser show now feels like a private viewing experience, and finding a peaceful spot in Savannah’s Forsyth Park has never been easier.
Alabama
The U.S. Space & Rocket Center in Huntsville offers unprecedented access to its simulators and exhibits. Gulf Shores’ white-sand beaches feature plenty of prime spots for your beach umbrella, while Mobile’s historic districts provide peaceful walking tours through azalea-lined streets.
The prestigious Grand Hotel Golf Resort & Spa in Point Clear now accepts walk-in reservations for its legendary afternoon tea service.
Mississippi
Biloxi’s casinos offer unmatched personal attention from dealers and staff. The antebellum homes of Natchez open their doors for intimate tours, while the Gulf Coast beaches provide miles of uninterrupted shoreline for shell collecting.
The historic Beau Rivage Resort now offers immediate seating at its signature restaurants, and finding a quiet spot to contemplate the Mississippi River in Vicksburg has never been simpler.
Oklahoma
The Oklahoma City National Memorial provides an even more moving experience in solitude. The Chickasaw Cultural Center offers personalized demonstrations of traditional crafts, while the Route 66 Museum lets you take your time examining every historic artifact.
The newly peaceful Thunder games at the Paycom Center feature plenty of courtside seat availability, and the Bricktown Water Taxi rarely requires a wait.
Louisiana
The French Quarter’s famous streets offer a more intimate experience of New Orleans’ historic architecture. Café du Monde’s beignets arrive at your table while they’re still piping hot, and streetcars on St. Charles Avenue always have available seats.
The Garden District’s legendary Commander’s Palace now welcomes walk-in diners for its 25-cent martini lunches, and swamp tours provide private experiences with Louisiana’s wildlife.
South Carolina
Charleston’s historic homes offer personal tours without the usual crowds. Myrtle Beach’s most popular attractions operate without lines, while the golf courses of Hilton Head Island provide immediate tee times.
The usually packed streets of Charleston’s Rainbow Row now allow for unhurried photography, and finding a waterfront table at Hyman’s Seafood takes moments rather than hours.
Arkansas
Hot Springs National Park’s thermal pools offer a more serene healing experience. The Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art provides an intimate encounter with masterpieces, while the Buffalo National River’s most popular camping spots remain readily available.
The typically crowded overlooks of Mount Magazine now offer peaceful sunset viewing, and Little Rock’s River Market District restaurants all offer immediate seating.
Kentucky
The Kentucky Bourbon Trail provides personal attention at every distillery. Mammoth Cave National Park tours no longer require advance booking, while Churchill Downs offers front-row seats for every race.
The Louisville Slugger Museum’s factory tours now feel like VIP experiences, and finding premium accommodations in downtown Lexington has never been easier.
Travel Tips for Your Post-Rapture Adventure
Remember to bring printed maps, as GPS satellite maintenance may be temporarily affected. There’s no telling if Small Town Travel Guide will still be here since Dave and I are both planning on being raptured. Cash remains useful (assuming the NWO hasn’t transitioned to a cashless society yet). Credit card processing has improved significantly with reduced network traffic. Most attractions operate on shortened hours but provide more personalized service.
While the circumstances leading to these travel opportunities may be unprecedented, the silver lining is clear: America’s most beautiful and popular destinations are more accessible than ever. Pack your bags and enjoy these newly peaceful locations – you’ve only got a limited time to enjoy them before the earthquakes, famines, plagues, and world wars begin!
